The most fashionable as well as pleasant way in the present day to entertain guests is to invite them to evening parties,
which vary in size from the "company," "sociable," "soiree," to the party, par excellence, which is but one step from the ball.
The entertainment upon such occasions may vary with the taste of the hostess or caprice of her guests. Some prefer dancing,
some music, some conversation. Small parties, called together for dramatic or poetical readings, are now fashionable, and very
delightful.
In writing and invitation for a small party, it is kind, as well as polite, to specify the number of guests invited, that your friends may
dress to suit the occasion. To be either too much or too little dressed at such times is embarrassing.
For large parties, the usual formula is:
Miss S---'s compliments to Miss G---, and requests the pleasure of her company for Wednesday, March 8, at 8 o'clock.
Such an invitation, addressed either to an intimate friend or mere acquaintance, will signify full dress.
If your party is a musical soiree, or your friends meet for reading or conversation alone, say so in your invitation, as---
Miss S---- requests the pleasure of Miss G---'s company, on Thursday evening next, at 8 o'clock, to meet the members of the
musical club to which Miss S---- belongs;
or
Miss S---- expects a few friends on Monday evening next, at 8 o'clock, to take part in some dramatic readings, and would be
happy to have Miss G--- join the party.
Always date your note of invitation, and put your address in one corner.
Having dispatched these notes, the next step is to receive you guests. If the number invioted is large, and you hire waiters, give
them notice several days beforehand, and engage them to come in the morning. Give them full directions for the supper, appoint one
to open the door, anotherto show the guests to the dressing rooms, and a third to wait in the gentlemen's dressing room, to attend to them
if their services are required.
If you use your own plate, glass, and china, show the waiters where to find them, as well as the table-cloths, napkins, and other things they
may require. If you hire the service from the confectioner's or restaurateur's where you order your supper, you have only to show your waiters
where to spread the supper, and tell them the hour.
You will have to place at least four rooms at the disposal of your guests---the supper-room, two dressing-rooms, and the drawing-room.
In the morning see that the fires in your rooms are in good order, and in the drawing-room it is best to have it so arranged that the heat can be
lessened towards evening, as the crowd and dancing will make it excessively uncomfortable if the rooms are too warm. See that the lights are
in good order, and, if you propose to have music instead of dancing, or to use your piano for dancing music, have it put in good tune in the
morning. If you intend to dance, and do not wish to take up the carpets, you will find it economical, as well as much pleasanter, to cover them
with white muslin or linen; be sure it is fastened down smoothly, firmly, and drawn tightly over the carpets. Do not remove all the chairs from the
parlor, or, if this is necesary, leave some in the hall for those who wish to rest after dancing.
In the dining-room, unless it will accommodate all your guests at once, have a silk cord so fastened that, when the room is full, it can be drawn
across the doorway; those following the guests already in the room will then return to the parlor, and wait their turn. A still better way is to set the
supper --- table twice, inviting the married and elderly people to go in to the first table, and then, after it is ready for the second time, let the young
folks go up.
Two dressing-rooms must be ready; one for the ladies and the otherfor the gentlemen. Have both of these rooms comfortably heated and well lighted.
Nothing can be more disagreeable than cold,ill-lighted rooms to dress in, particularly if your guests come in half frozen by the cold of a winter's night,
or, still worse, damp from a stormy one.
Be sure that there is pleanty of water, soap, and towels on the washstand, two or three brushes and combs on the bureau, two mirrors, one large
and one small, and a pincushion well filled with large and small pins. In the ladies' room have one, or, if your party is large, two women to wait upon
your guests; to remove their cloaks, overshoes, and hoods, and assist them in smoothing their dressed or hair. After each guest removes her shawl
and hood, let one of the maids roll all the things she lays aside in a bundle, and put it where she can easily find it. It is an admirable plan to pin a
name card to the bundle.
Upon the bureau in the ladies' room have a supply of hairpins and a workbox furnished with everything requisite to repair any accident that may
happen to the dress of the guest. It is well, also, to have eau de Cologne, and salts, in case of sudden faintness.
In the gentlemen's room place a clothes-brush and a boot-jack.
Be dressed and ready to receive your quests in good season, as some, in their desire to be punctual, may come before the time appointed. It is better
to be ready too soon than too late, as your guests will be embarrassed if you are not ready to receive them.
For the early part of the evening take a position in your parlor near or opposite to the door, that each guest may find you easily. It is not necessary to
remain all the evening nailed to this one spot, but stay near it until your guests have all or nearly all assembled. Late comers will of course expect to find
you entertaining your guests.
As each guest or party enter the room, advance a few steps to meet them, speaking first to the lady, or, if there are several ladies, to the eldest, then to
the younger ones, and finally to the gentlemen. If the new-comers are acquainted with those already in the room, they will leave you, after a few words
of greeting, to join their friends; but if they are strangers to the city, or making their first visit to your house, introduce them to a friend who is well acquainted
in your circle, who will entertain them till you can again join them and introduce them to others.
Do not leave the room during the evening. To see a hostess fidgeting, constantly going in and out, argues ill for her tact in arranging the house for company.
With well-trained waiters, you need to give yourself no uneasiness about the arrangements outside to the parlors. The perfection if good breeding in a hostess
is perfect ease of manner; for the time, she should appear to have no thought or care beyond the pleasure of her guests.
Never try to outshine your guests in dress. A hostess should be dressed as simply as is consistent with the occasion, wearing, if she will, the richest fabics,
exquisitely made, but avoiding any display of jewels or gay colors, such as will be, probably, more conspicuous than those worn by her guests.
If your party meet for reading, have a table with the books in the centre of the apartment, that will divide the room; those reason being on one side, the
listeners on the other. Be careful here not to endeavor to shine above your guests, leaving them the most prominent places, and taking cheerfully a subordinate
place. On the other hand, if you are urged to display any talent you may possess in this way, remember your only desire is to please your guests, and if they are
really desirous to listen to you, comply gracefully and promptly with their wishes.
If your party is mixed, that is, conversation, dancing, and music are all mingled, remember it is your place to invite guest to sing or play, and be careful not to
offend any amateur performers by forgetting to invite them to favor the company. If they decline, never urge the matter. If the refusal proceeds from unwillingness
or inability on that occasion it is rude to insist; and if they refuse for the sake of being urged, they will be justly punished by a disappointment. If you have guests
who, performing badly, will expect an invitation to play, sacrifice their desire to the good of others, pass them by. It is torture to listen to bad music.
Do not ask a guest to sing or play more than once. This is her fair share, and you have no right to tax her too severely to entertain your other guests. If, however,
the performance is so pleasing that others ask for a repetition, then you, too, may request it, thanking the performer for the pleasure given.
One word of warning to all hostesses. You can never know, when you place wine or brandy before your guests, whom you may be tempting to utter ruin. Better,
to have a reputation as strict or mean than by your example or the temptation you offer to have the sin upon your soul of having put poison before those who
partook of your hospitality. It is not necessary; hospitality and generosity do not require it, and you will have the approval of all who truly love you for your good
qualities, if you resolutely refuse to have either wine or any other intoxicating liquor upon your supper-table.
When you guests take leave of you, it will be in the drawing-room, and let that farewell be final. Do not accompany them to the dressing-room, and never stop them
in the hall for a last word. Many ladies do not like to display their sortie du soiree before a crowded room, and you will be keeping their escort waiting. Say
farewell in the parlor, and do not repeat it.
