The bride-to-be selects the date, usually within three months of the engagement. The month of June was considered to be the luckiest month for wedding, hence today's tradition of the "June Weddings". May is shunned by those who are in the least superstitious, as it is deemed unlucky. The ancient Romans, who were dominated by omens and signs, regarded it as an unfortunate month, and Ovid said, "That time, too, was not auspicious for the marriage torches of the widow or the virgin. She who married then, did not long remain a wife." Just after Easter seems a favourite season for weddings, and the fall months are also much liked. The time of day that the wedding would be held had to be considered. It was traditional in the South to have summer wedding at 6 pm when the weather had begun to cool down. In the East, weddings typically took place before late afternoon.

Invitations have a proper procedure to be followed. If the wedding were to take place in a church then, properly engraved invitations were customary. But, if the wedding were to take place in the home a handwritten invitation was used. All guests that were invited were expected to attend unless there were extraordinary circumstances. After the invitations are properly sent, it was customary for the bride to be to make social calls where only their card was left.

The all white gown was usually the choice of the Victorian bride. Around the late 1800's the train became more popular and began to replace the bustle. If a bride is married in her travelling dress, she wears a hat or bonnet. The groom is dressed in dark clothes. They do not require brides-maids or groomsman, but have ushers, while the groom has his "best man," whose place it is to attend to necessary details. The bride not only carried a bouquet of flowers, but also wore them in her veil and on her dress. The orange blossom was a popular choice, where they were available. The bridal bouquet was often made up of roses and violets, but more commonly it was completely white.

The Victorian's had not one, but three wedding cakes. One for the bride, one for the groom, and the wedding cake. Usually the cake was not eaten. It was usually fruit cake with white frosting. Wedding-cake is not sent out as formerly. In lieu of that it is piled up in tasty little boxes on a side table at the reception, and each guest takes just one box.

Choosing Brides-maids

Brides-maids are taken from the relatives or most intimate friends--the sisters of the bride and of the bridegroom where possible. The bridegroom chooses his groomsmen and ushers from his circle of relatives and friends of his own age, and from the relatives of his fiancée of a suitable age. The brides-maids should be a little younger than the bride. These should be from two to six in number, and they should exercise taste in dress, looking as pretty as possible, being careful, however, not to outshine the bride. White is the accepted dress for brides-maids, but they are not limited to this. They can select light and delicate colours, showing care that everything harmonises. Pink, blue, sea-green, ecru, or lavender, makes a very pretty contrast to the bride, who should invariably be clothed in white.

The addition of some pretty children under ten, who follow the brides-maids in the procession to the altar, and who are called flower-girls, is beautiful innovation.

Presents for Brides-maids

A brides-maid must never disappoint the bride by failing to keep her engagement. Only severe sickness or death will excuse her. It is quite customary for the bride to bestow some present on each brides-maid, while the groom remembers each groomsman in a similar manner.

It is also a pretty custom for the bride to give a dinner to the brides-maids the evening previous to the wedding.

The Ring

The bridegroom takes care to provide the wedding ring, and have it in readiness at the proper moment when called upon to put it on. He then places it on the third finger from, but not counting the thumb of the left hand.

The Kiss

When the ceremony is over, the question sometimes arises whether the bride is to be kissed by the bridegroom. We should leave its decision to the instinct of affection were we not solemnly warned by a portentous authority on deportment that "the practice is decidedly to be avoided; it is never followed by people in the best society. A bridegroom with any tact will take care that this is known to his wife, since any disappointment of expectations would be a breach of good breeding. The bride is congratulated by all her friends in the church, and elderly relatives will kiss her in congratulation." This is, of course, now settled beyond all peradventure of doubt by the fact that, according to the same authority, "The queen was kissed by the Duke of Sussex, but not by Prince Albert ."

The Receiving Line

The married pair then return to the bride's house together, taking precedence of all, and, on arrival, assume a standing position at one end of the reception-room and await the coming of the invited guests, who, as they enter, are conducted by the groomsmen to offer their congratulations. The conventional breakfast or lunch closes the ceremony.

References:

"The Bazar Book of Decorum. The care of the Person, Manners, Etiquette, and Ceremonials." 1873

White, Annie Randall, Polite Society, At Home and Abroad, 1901 (USA)